Good reasons to call a computer technician

1. If you have really bad posture so your back is hurting. All Network Administrator have to take a course in chair adjustment. We’re all experts at it. Plus, if you have bad posture and always slouch in your chair, adjusting it or getting a new chair will always fix the problem.

2. If you’re an idiot and have no idea what you’re doing. Actually, you wouldn’t think that you would call a computer tech for this but you definitely should. There is a right and wrong way to go about it however. If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t just call up and ask for help or advice. That never works. Call and tell them that your brand new $3000 dollar laptop sucks and they should buy you a new one. That will almost always fix the problem.

3. If the owner of the company you work for implements something that in some small way affects your computer and you don’t like it. For example, if the owner decides he wants a background image to be on all company computers. You should definitely call the computer tech. Actually, this works best if at least half of the people in the company call him and bitch about it. You should try and coordinate your efforts so you all do it within about a two day period. Make sure to mention that it’s intrusive, and the image is ugly, and that you’ve spent about 3 hours trying to figure out how to change it back instead of doing your job. I mean, after all, it is your computer right? It’s not like the company bought it or anything.

4. If you’re in Europe and you’re trying to send 300 pictures to someone in your home office via e-mail. It is important on this one that you make sure you take the pictures at the highest resolution possible, especially if you don’t really need detailed pictures. That will make sure they are really big for absolutely no reason. Then when you connect, be sure that you’re staying in a hotel that was built in the 14th century and has really antiquated phone lines. You should call the computer tech and scream at him because it’s taking too long to transfer the files and your system keeps freezing. Tell them it’s ridiculous that they can’t be sent instantaneously and that it’s impossible to do their job. If the computer tech tries to explain to you why you’re having the problem, just cut him off and say you don’t understand and don’t want to know. Also, as with most other problems, make sure you ask for a new computer because that always fixes the problem.

5. If you have a virus on your computer. This is another one where you might think you wouldn’t need to call a tech. The key here is to not tell the tech there is a virus. Tell them about all the problems you’re having with your system but be sure to be vague. Don’t give any specific error messages as this will just confuse the tech. Only after he has spent a minimum of one hour trying to resolve the problem you should you say something like, “Oh, I forgot to mention something. I’ve had this little box popping up for a while saying something about my machine being infected. Could that be part of the problem?”. This is definitely the best way to go about it, and the most time effective for both you and the tech.

6. If you’ve forgotten how to think for yourself. Whenever anything unexpected happens to any electronic device, immediately call the tech. Using logical thought processes’ is very damaging to your brain. It could cause headaches, hot and cold spells, and in severe cases cranial hemorrhaging. Since techs are used to this kind of stress being put on their brain, it’s best to just call them the instant you think you might have to think for yourself. Here is a sample of an actual phone call that could be considered a perfect time to call a tech.

User: The printer’s broken
Tech: What’s wrong with it?
User: I don’t know. It’s not printing.
Tech: Are there any error messages on the screen?
User: No, the printer is turned off.
Tech: Maybe you should turn it back on and try to print again.
User: Oh.